Andriz

2010-12-25T17:22:00.000-08:00

We've known each other for 1 month now. Probably more than that.

You gave me that 'something more', you know?

I remembered asking you "What if I do not want any physical contact between us?" and you replied "What's important is that I love you and you love me, right?". Right at that moment, I was extremely grateful to have known you.

You're a really great guy. You respect me for who I am. You have no rejections over my conditions. I would say this is my first ever unconditional love.

I really appreciate you for who you are. Remember once I said "Even if you're fat or ugly, I will still love you"? I've never said that to anyone before. I would always reject the fugly guys whom wanted to get to know me.

But it suddenly hit me that I should quit going for looks and start appreciating people just the way they are. And you are my first.

You might think I'm a jerk for toying with your feelings and after I'm done playing with you, I will go to another guy and get that guy to be my next victim. Go ahead if you want to think that way. I don't blame you.

One afternoon, I sent an unexpected text to you:

"If one day I didnt text you, forgive me k. You may curse me and whatever but just forgive me if you could. I know Ill regret this. I shouldnt have get to know you in the first place. But Im really grateful to have known you. Youre special. But if smetg were to happen to me one day an we couldnt contact anymre then I hope you will understand and forget everything about me"

I said I was sick. And yes, truly I am. No one knows and I'm making it official here. Whoever's reading.

When I asked "Why arent you leaving me?", you replied the sweetest thing ever.

"Leaving you has never come across my mind. Up till now I love you. Im happy with you. I wanna stay. Even if youre sick or whatever. I will still stay with you"

Well this is exactly why I'm leaving you now. I guess it's better that I stop this now before we meet. I love you, sincerely. I won't joke about this things. I just don't deserve this treatment that you're giving to me. You're so good, while me? I'm basically a simpleton.

I don't know what's gonna happen to me after this. I don't want you to worry about me, and you probably wouldn't even be after this.

I seriously feel guilty about this. I brought it upon myself.

Just so you know, you are the GREATEST guy that's ever been a part of me. I'm not lying. But if you think that this is just another bullshit from me, up to you then.

I really wish you will get over me and forgive and forget. I know this is hard for you. It is for me too.

I'll pray for you. So you will be strong. So you'll get a girl who will really come and stay in your life. So you won't 'bump' into another simpleton like me.

Lastly, I truly apologize. Sorry for pinning up your hopes too high. I blame you for this. Didn't I tell you not to do so from day one?

And I know you've been looking forward for 010111. I have too. But always expect the unexpected. I didn't plan this. It suddenly struck me and I just had to put a stop to this.

Take this as a lesson learnt. Take it as an episode of your life and you're done with this episode, so you're moving on to the next one and make it an interesting one. Make it worthwhile, much more worthwhile.

Thank you for being part of my life even if it's for a short while. You made me fall in love all over again.

<3

Ps: This is the last blog post, forever? (:

old one

Andriz